Not Who We Are
Last week’s brutal murders, of Yamanu Binyamin Zelka in a Petach Tikva pizzeria and Destao Tzukal in Beersheva, both young men of Ethiopian origin, sent a wave of real, deep pain across the country. Adding to the shock and horror was the fact that the murders were perpetrated by gangs of teens, including even a 12-year-old. Some were quick to respond, “This is our society,” “This is our youth,” but that kind of sweeping, shaming narrative simply does not reflect Israel or its young people.
The way we respond to every wounded soldier, every fallen life, every hostage—that is the real story. These murders were a desecration of human life, but the national response was not apathy. It was sensitivity.
This week, two educators offered practical responses to the heinous murders. Rabbi Amir Dadon prepared a study sheet for his high school students in memory of the two victims. Alongside their photos, he wrote: “Most of us, thank God, are not in danger of committing murder. But in the language of Chassidut, everything we see is meant to reflect something back to us. It calls for introspection.”
Many of us are at risk of anger. Of losing control. Of being overtaken by rage. Rabbi Dadon asked his students to think about their anger—in a calm moment. To recognize it, to understand it, and to learn to manage it. To remember: there are boundaries. There is right and wrong.
The Gemara teaches: “The world endures only because of those who restrain themselves in moments of conflict.” But how do you actually restrain yourself in the heat of the moment?
Here are some of the tools his students discussed:
- Prepare a sentence, a verse, or a short prayer in advance, and repeat it so that it is accessible when you need it.
- Imagine yourself ten years from now, being interviewed about this exact moment—what choice will you be proud of?
- Try to redirect the anger. Become angry at the anger itself, and push it away.
- Follow the advice of our sages: transform anger into compassion. Instead of getting angry at the person in front of you, try to feel for them.
Dr. Yechiel Harari, a teacher of Chassidut, offers a different perspective: we need to go a level higher. It’s not enough to focus on enforcement, punishment, or fighting drugs, alcohol and crime.
“We don’t need to teach children not to be violent,” he says. “Not to curse, not to hit, not to take revenge—that’s basic. That’s the minimum.”
What we need to teach, he says, is love. First, love of self. Every person is created in the image of God.
And from there, love of others: to respect, to value, to want to do good, to elevate the world.
Think of the verse we read recently: “Love your fellow as yourself.” It assumes something fundamental—that a person loves themselves. These murderers did not love themselves. That’s where it begins.
“And when we live on that level,” he explains, “violence simply doesn’t belong. It becomes something distant, out of place. We need to aim higher. To lift people up. To set greater goals, not just, ‘Don’t get drunk,’ but, ‘Rise higher. Live your purpose’.”
Every Day Counts
The Counting of the days of the Omer, between Pesach and Shavuot, teaches us the significance of time.
When we count something, we recognize it’s importance. The Torah prescribes: “And you will count for yourselves . . . seven complete weeks,” emphasizing that each of the days comprising these weeks is particularly precious.
We all know the popular maxim, “Time is money,” but there is more to it than that. As we count the 49 days between leaving Egypt and the revelation on Mount Sinai, we are made aware of just how important time is. Each day that we count represents a character trait we are meant to refine to be worthy of receiving the Torah. May we all recognize the unique quality and value of this particular day — and of every day to come.
An Ancient Text, a New Way of Thinking
How do we define wisdom, strength, wealth, honor?
The tractate of Avot invites us to reconsider how we think about these concepts.
During this period of the Counting of the Omer, between Pesach and Shavuot, it is customary to study one chapter of Pirkei Avot every Shabbat. This tractate from the Mishnah focuses on self-improvement and character refinement, and by studying it during this time we prepare ourselves to receive the Torah on Shavuot.
Here is a fascinating excerpt that was studied recently in Jewish communities throughout the world:
Who is wise? He who learns from every person.
Who is mighty? He who subdues his evil inclination.
Who is rich? He who rejoices in his lot.
Who is honored? He who honors his fellow human beings.
Wow. Wisdom is defined not as the accumulation of knowledge but the ability to learn from others. True strength is self-control. True wealth is being satisfied with what we already have. And an honorable person is one who honors others.
Each of these statements radically overturns our traditional assumptions about success and invites us to work on ourselves and view our lives in a new way.
