"Im bechukosai teileichu v’es mitzvosai tishmoru va’asishem osam" — If you go in My statutes, and observe My commandments, and perform them…

Rashi famously explains that "going in Hashem’s statutes" means toiling in Torah — not just learning passively, but putting in real effort.

There’s a powerful story told about the Chofetz Chaim. A young man came to him, disheartened. “Rebbe,” he said, “I’ve been learning for years. I’ve worked hard, but I haven’t become the Torah scholar I hoped to be.”

The Chofetz Chaim looked at him gently and asked: “Is there a mitzvah to become a gaon? The mitzvah is to work hard in Torah. If you’re putting in effort — you’re already fulfilling Hashem’s will.”

It’s a message that speaks not just to those who learn Torah full time, but to every parent, teacher, and mentor. It’s not about being brilliant. It’s about being consistent. Trying. Asking. Growing.

Rav Yisroel Belsky zt”l on the first day of becoming a rebbe told his talmidim an important lesson. He told them about when he was in Bais Medrash Elyon and didn’t always understand the shiur. As he was thinking about what the rebbe said, and was trying to understand it, the rebbe would move on. One day an older bochur asked the rebbe to repeat it, and the rebbe did! Rav Belsky saw that it was possible to ask and that is what he used to do to make sure he understood the shiur. 

Rav Belsky then turned to his talmidim and said “If you don’t understand something, or you didn’t hear, please ask. You should never be embarrassed to ask. The only way to learn is by asking questions.  

The goal isn’t instant understanding or perfection. The goal is effort, patience, and the courage to grow through struggle. And our job is to support that process — not just praise results, but celebrate effort.

This ties beautifully into another question: Why is a thirteen-year-old boy called a Bar Mitzvah?

The phrase literally means “son of the mitzvah” — but that seems odd. Why not call him a Baal Mitzvah, an “owner of mitzvos,” just like we say baal aveirah for someone who commits a sin?

The answer can be found in a powerful insight from the Mishnas Yehoshua, based on the Mishnah in this week’s Pirkei Avos. The Mishnah describes life stages: “At five, one begins Chumash; at ten, Mishnah; at thirteen, the commandments…” From there, it shifts — “At thirty, strength; at forty, understanding…”

What’s the pattern?

The Mishnas Yehoshua explains that the early stages describe how Torah begins to form a person — first through learning, then through action. By thirteen, something changes: mitzvos no longer stay external. They become part of who we are. We’re not just doing them — we’re defined by them.

That’s why we say Bar Mitzvah — a son of the mitzvah. A son has an intrinsic, unbreakable connection. An owner can choose to let go. A son is bonded for life. At thirteen, a boy doesn’t just start keeping mitzvos — he becomes linked to them on the deepest level. Torah and mitzvos become part of his identity.

So whether we’re learning ourselves, raising children, or teaching others, this week’s parsha reminds us: Hashem doesn’t expect perfection. He asks for effort, to toil in Torah.

And when we encourage that effort — when we show children that it’s okay to ask, to struggle, to not understand right away — we help them become not just doers of mitzvos, but true bnei mitzvah. Sons and daughters of a lifelong connection with Hashem.