Posted on 11/23/25
Avraham — Our Father
The first Jew, Avraham, was named for his role as a father. His original name, “Avram,” means “mighty father.” Later, Hashem changed his name to “Avraham,” which means “father of many nations.”[1]
Avraham’s association with fatherhood is not coincidental. It was a core part of his identity and mission, and a central aspect of what Hashem appreciated about him.[2] Avraham was the “father of many nations”[3] who spread G-d's name and endeavored to bring all the nations close to Him. Out of the thousands he influenced, hundreds became his close students. The Torah refers to them as “chanichav.”[4] This is significant because Avraham is the first person the Torah describes as involved in “chinuch — education.”
But the thousands Avraham taught did not satisfy him. He wanted more — biological children who would carry on his legacy.[5] When, after many decades, Hashem finally blessed him with them, he eagerly relayed his values and beliefs.[6] He also inculcated these values by involving his children in his good deeds. For example, when he welcomed guests into his home, he had Yishmael prepare the meat for them to accustom him to chessed.[7]
This was the beginning of the Jewish people. There were righteous men before Avraham, but Avraham was the first to establish a nation by passing his legacy to his descendants through his children. This is why Hashem felt close to Avraham and why He blessed and rewarded him.[8] Hashem invested in Avraham not just because of his personal piety and greatness, but because of the nation he was founding.[9]
Following Our Father
We, Avraham’s descendants, follow his lead by also placing great emphasis on chinuch ha’banim — educating our children.[10] This education includes teaching children Torah, familiarizing them with mitzvot,[11] and showing them how to live correctly. This “living correctly” includes instilling in them good middot, ethical traits, and derech eretz, proper conduct and respect for others.
The Torah itself places a strong emphasis on chinuch: The first two parshiyot of Kriyat Shema both command us to teach Torah to our children.[12] This commitment to passing on the Torah and its directives is a cardinal Jewish priority, which is why we established a fully inclusive school system thousands of years before any other culture.[13]
The Torah also mandates bringing babies to the Hakhel assembly, where the Torah is read publicly.[14] Including children in the Torah gathering even before they are old enough to study it further highlights the importance we place on teaching them Torah.
The Torah also commands us to convey the traditions about seminal events in Jewish history to our children and grandchildren. Sefer Shemot[15] twice mentions the need for parents to tell their children about Yetziat Mitzrayim, and Sefer Devarim[16] teaches the mitzvah to relay the story of Ma’amad Har Sinai.
We are meant to teach our children the history and traditions of our past and give them the knowledge and ability to carry them on.
Our Own Future
Our children are the future of the Jewish people. By helping them develop a strong Jewish identity and a deep understanding of our traditions, we ensure the continuity and strength of our community. Properly educating our children has profound implications for us as well. Our children are our legacy; who and what they are is what we leave behind in this world.
Our children determine our place in the next world, as well. Reunification with our ancestors in the next world hinges on having children who continue our ways in this one.[17] This is why Sefer Melachim[18] describes Dovid HaMelech, as opposed to Yoav, as “lying with his ancestors” after his death. Only Dovid, whose children followed his path, returned to his ancestors after his death.
The Midrash goes even further by asserting that we live on in this world as well through our children, who continue our legacy.[19] “Anyone who raises a righteous son is considered to have not died.”[20] Yaakov Avinu is an example of this: He is considered still alive because all of his children followed his ways.[21]
Acharav — Our Own Selves
Avraham Avinu also teaches us how to educate our children — by personal example. The pasuk that describes Hashem’s appreciation of Avraham’s chinuch makes this point. Hashem notes that Avraham educated his children and his household “acharav — after him.” Avraham did not just teach his children how to live as Jews; he modeled Jewish life for them. He didn’t tell them to do as he said; he encouraged them to do as he did and follow his lead.[22]
This term, acharav, inspired the custom among Israeli army officers to lead their soldiers into battle with the call of “acharai — after me.” The officers do not just train their soldiers how to fight and send them off to do so. They model soldiering for them and then lead them into battle.
The Avot followed Avraham’s lead by also modeling for their children. Yaakov Avinu was particularly successful and inspired all of his children to remain loyal to his faith. Ultimately, they were merely following his lead.
They expressed this point to him on his deathbed when they exclaimed that “just as you believe in Hashem’s oneness, so do we.”[23] The first half of their statement seems superfluous. We know that in Yaakov’s heart there was only One G-d. That was not up for discussion; no one suspected Yaakov’s heart. The question was what was going on in their hearts. All they needed to say was, “Listen, father, in our heart, there is only One!”
Rav YY Jacobson explains:
The first half of their sentence was not superfluous. Yaakov’s children were explaining why their father need not fear about their moral destiny. “Yaakov, our father, if there is One in your heart, you can be assured that in our hearts, too, there is only One.” Children are the mirror of their parents’ hearts, not of their words. Since in your heart there was one, our heart too is saturated with the one living G-d.[24]
Modeling is the only authentic and impactful form of education. In the words of the Family Centre, “Adults teach children in three important ways: the first is by example, the second is by example, and the third is by example.” Education begins with the parents. Parents need to model Jewish life for children so they can follow their ways.
This explains Rav Yisrael Salanter’s response to the Russian Minister of Education. The minister asked Rav Yisrael the age at which Jews begin educating their children. Rav Yisrael responded that we begin twenty years before they are born. Chinuch ha’banim begins with educating their parents.
This is why Kriyat Shema’s two commandments to teach our children Torah both come after a pasuk that commands us to have the words of the Torah on our own hearts.[25] We can only model for our children what we ourselves have already internalized and live by.
Rav Jacobson sharply makes this point:
Parents spend thousands of dollars a year in tuition to send their children to our school, where, along with calculus and chemistry, we are expected to teach some basic ethics. Then, on Sunday, the parents take their child to an amusement park and lie about his age to save five dollars on the admission fee. To save five bucks, they destroy a $25,000 education.[26]
May appreciating the importance of educating our children and understanding how it hinges on our own personal conduct inspire us to live our Judaism to the fullest!
Rav Reuven Taragin is the Dean of Overseas Students at Yeshivat Hakotel and the Educational Director of World Mizrachi and the RZA.
His book, Essentials of Judaism, is available at rabbireuventaragin.com.
[1] Bereishit 17:5.
[2] Bereishit 18:19.
[3] Bereishit 17:5. See also Rashi, Bereishit 18:17.
[4] Bereishit 14:14. See Malbim, Abarvanel, and Radak.
[5] Bereishit 15:2.
[6] Ha’emek Davar, Bereishit 18:19.
[7] Bereishit 18:7. See Rashi, et al.
[8] Rashi, Bereishit 18:19.
[9] Bereishit Rabbah 63:2 based upon Yeshayah 29:22. See also Mei Marom, Toldot, D”H Hashem.
[10] See Meshech Chochmah (Bereishit 18:19), who sees Hashem’s description of Avraham’s chinuch as the source for our mitzvah to educate our children.
[11] Sukkah 42a.
[12] Devarim 6:7 and 11:19. Interestingly, two of the three times the Torah mandates Torah study refer to teaching Torah to our children.
[13] Bava Batra 21a. Like the aforementioned pesukim, this Gemara also presents fathers teaching their children, like Avraham Avinu, as the ideal method. School systems were developed only because many children did not have fathers who could educate them.
See also Sefer Mishlei (first mention in 1:8), which focuses on parents as the source for wisdom and direction. Note that many of the pesukim mention mothers as well (23:22, 31:1).
[14] Devarim 31:12. See also Devarim 29:10. See also Yerushalmi (Yevamot 8b) as well as the Mechilta (Bo 16), which, understandably, connect exposing babies to Torah learning to Avraham Avinu.
[15] Shemot 12:26–27 and 13:8.
[16] Devarim 4:10. Note that this pasuk also mentions the need to pass the tradition on to one’s grandchildren. See Shemot 10:2 for a similar formulation regarding Yetziat Mitzrayim.
[17] Bava Batra 116a.
[18] Melachim I 11:21.
[19] Bereishit Rabbah 49:12.
[20] Rashi, Bereishit 18:19.
[21] Ta’anit 5a as explained by the Rashba (Aggadot, Ta’anit 5a). See also Zohar (Rut, Ma’amar K’tzeit Hashemesh) which explains that Yaakov continues living today through his descendants — the Jewish people.
[22] Yosef Hatzaddik seems to have related to his father the same way. See Da’at Zekeinim, Bereishit 47:30.
[23] Pesachim 56a. See Rambam (Kriyat Shema 1:4).
[24] “Are You a Hypocrite? — On the Essence of Education,” Yeshiva.net.
[25] Devarim 6:6–7 and 11:18–19. Rav Avigdor Nevenzahl, shlit”a (Ki MiTziyon, pg. 42) used this idea to explain why Lot’s sons-in-law laughed at his suggestion that they flee Sedom before its destruction (Bereishit 19:14). They did not take Lot seriously because they saw that he himself was unsure about whether Sedom would be destroyed (Bereishit 19:16).
[26] See Sukkah 56b for an example of how children learn from the bad habits of their parents.
An American rabbi shared a similar personal anecdote:
“When I was 17, I knew a lot more than my father. It was later that I realized that I did not.
I told my father, listen, I know that my father is very insistent to have machine shmura at the Seder. He did not want to have hand shmura…
I came back from yeshiva, and I told my father, ‘Listen, I accept what you are saying. I would rather do it otherwise. I would rather have hand shmura.’
So my father says, ‘Listen, if that is what you want, I am not going to argue. That is what you want. But do me a favor. Please do not eat it at the table.’
So I brought hand matzah and I ate at the table. My mother looked at it and she said, ‘I want a piece of that.’ And my sister wanted a piece of it.
Fast-forward 25 years, my son Yaakov says to me, ‘Abba, I have been learning a lot and I really think it is not appropriate to have hand matzah at the Seder.’
He says, "I really think that it is much better to have machine shmurah.’
I said, ‘Yaakov, the minhag in our family is to have hand shmurah.’
So he says, ‘Abba, the minnag of our family is to disagree with your father.
I am just keeping up the minhag.’”