Posted on 09/19/25
I got some mussar the other day, which is not a bad thing, especially at this time of year.
A woman I bumped into the other day chided me, “You stopped writing!” I was taken aback. I knew she meant it as a compliment; however, I did not realize how much my words meant to her. I reassured her I’d get back on track.
It has been a busy and very fun summer, Baruch Hashem, with some writing here and there (and rejections!), a very busy back to school season, and of course the start of another holiday one as well. There really hasn’t been much time to write, so Mrs. X, this one’s for you!
This past summer, I had the privilege of travelling to Budapest and Keresztir with a group of young women in shidduchim. It was a very special trip for many reasons, but on a personal level, my father is buried in Budapest, and as I have a rich family history in Hungary, I feel that I am in the land of my Fathers. I was able to take leave from the group for a bit and daven by Kever Avos, and that is always very meaningful to me.
Our tour continued to Keresztir to daven by R’ Shayaleh which is as everyone claims it to be an awesome experience. If you have the chance to do so, I highly recommend it. The air is different there and not just because it is in the mountain region of Tokaj, but the ruach of this Tzadik, and believe it or not, his simcha, still hovers there and people who are davening for Yeshua are drawn to R’ Shayaleh like magnets. We also visited other places in the small villages of Hungary that were teeming with yidden before the Holocaust. Some of the shuls were rebuilt, some with just one wall left standing, a silent testimony of our People who once lived and prayed there. We davened at more kevarim of many great people as well. I am fascinated by cemeteries. I find them intriguing and connect to the peacefulness there. Perhaps it is because I have been a frequent visitor to the Beis HaChaim since I was young.
When I find myself at the Beis Olam, in whatever place, I make it a point to pay my respects to the people buried there and try to read some of the headstones to find out a bit about that person who once lived. I am curious about who their neighbors are and why. I know that not everyone relates to this concept. For me, it is interesting to study the inscriptions. At one of these cemeteries, and subsequently others we davened at, I noticed some of the very old matzeivahs were worn down by age and the inscription was faded. It was a sad sight and so I stopped at those specific ones. At the same time, I also noticed that someone had put a huge stone atop these kevarim. It made an impression on me and that is exactly the point. This person who was buried there also made an impression once upon a time on someone. He lived a life that was hopefully busy with good things. Perhaps he had a family, was a great Torah Scholar or renowned for chessed. Some individual took the effort and honored that by recognizing his life’s contributions, even after death, and even if the stone was worn down and it was not clear who this person was and what he did. I later found out from a friend that there is an organization that makes sure to do this so the town, and/or country, won’t think this is a defunct cemetery and then raze it.
We are busy with so many things. We work. We play. We go to the J. We do chessed. We take care of our families and other people in our lives. We daven, we learn, and so on, with all the other things that fill our days. Only Hashem truly knows what leaves a lasting impression on others, much like those faded headstones. Sometimes, we get a “bump” that reminds us in this lifetime to keep doing what we do that we may take for granted. Thank you Mrs. X for reminding me. May all the big and little things that we are involved with leave an indelible impression in the Sefer HaChaim that is opened up on Rosh Hashonah.
May we be inscribed for a happy and healthy New Year as we enter 5786 and pray for the peace of Jerusalem.
Liluy Nishmas Avi Yaakov Mordechai ben Yitzchok Tzvi whose yahrtzeit is Aleph Tishrei
Y”ChT, Special Birthday wishes to Eliezer Yosef Ben Yaakov Mordechai whose bar Mitzvah parsha embodies this message.