Posted on 01/20/25
Baltimore, MD - Jan. 20, 2025 - This past shabbos, Parshas Shemos, we celebrated the bar mitzvah of my youngest child.
It was an incredible experience and so grateful on many levels and I’m still processing this milestone.
For weeks, my husband and I were busy preparing, each one with our own to-do-list, along with juggling the responsibilities of regular life. Somewhere in between that, I lost track of the news, however I continued to daven daily for our people with my Tehillim for Hostages whats app group, and using the tefillah card I have at home for the safety of our Chayalim, return of our hostages and healing for those injured in the war. Almost like background noise, I knew there was talks of a cease-fire and a potential hostage release. I didn’t think it would actually happen as there were talks about this before and then nothing materialized, and besides, my daily to do list was growing. I had Bar Mitzvah on the brain and really not much else.
It did occur to me that a nice thing to do would be to make Tefillah cards, with the same tefillos I daven at home, and to give them out at the Bo Bayom and the Bar Mitzvah, after all, the Parsha talks about how Moshe saw the suffering of his brothers (Shemos 2:11). I asked the graphic designer who made our invitations, Mrs. Yael Sait, yael.tzipora@gmail.com, if she could do this, and she enthusiastically said yes. She incorporated the yellow ribbon into the monogram my son, Moishe Chaim, designed and they looked beautiful. Shabbos passed by in a wonderful blur. My oldest son mentioned on Motzei Shabbos about the upcoming hostage/prisoner exchange, however I still had not really checked the news as my house was emptying out and I was exhausted. When the last of the guests had left on Sunday, I was finally able to sit down and see what was happening in the world at large, mainly Israel.
I was glued to my screen. I could not believe what I was seeing nor come to terms with the range of very heavy and conflicting emotions I was feeling, and still am. It was hard to clean up and I felt slug-like, preferring to sit and daven and devour as much information as I could. I felt like I went back in time somewhat because of the horror of the release of all those evil people and what they could do, somewhat reminiscent of the horror we felt on October 7th, obviously not quite the same. At the same time, there was the great relief that 3 precious sisters would finally come home. And then I thought of my cards. I shared them with my block, posting on our chat, and some friends, that I had extra and they are welcome to take. Then I had another thought: this could be even bigger. Why not share with my community? Why not share with the world?
Later, when we were sitting down at dinner, Sunday night, it dawned on me that exactly a year ago, was when I first decided to tape, which I have written about on the BJL. I took my daughter for a getaway when she had her school winter break. In the early morning, when she was still sleeping and not wanting to disturb her, I made my way to the comfortable hotel lobby with siddur in tow. It had also just snowed, just like now. I was taking in the peaceful scene of the snowy landscape and feeling disconnected from the hotel guests and visiting hockey teams as I was absorbed in my own Imo Anochi B’Tzarah world of wondering, worrying, praying what would happen with our People. That’s when I read about the tape initiative Rache Goldberg-Polin started. I took out my Tehillim and remembered that it was Martin Luther King day and his famous words of “I have a dream.” Then I wrote my own version.
I have a dream.
I have a dream of our hostages coming home.
NOW.
I have a dream of humanity restored, peace in our times. For the world to open her eyes and see the madness of who really is the oppressed, the beaten, the tortured, the “occupied.”
I have a dream; of living in our Homeland.
My Dream is bigger.
I have a dream
When G-d’s light will be revealed.
How ironic that the freedom of the hostages is around the time that this famous speech about freedom was made. Until this dream is no longer a dream, let us continue to pray for the freedom of ALL the hostages and make that dream a reality.
