Posted on 11/28/21
| News Source: MATZAV
Rav Elya Ber Wachtfogel, rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Gedolah Zichron Moshe of South Fallsburg, addressed the issue of shidduchim on Thursday at the Agudas Yisroel Convention, stating that that young men should be encouraged to enter shidduchim earlier.
The words of the rosh yeshiva were related during a panel discussion on the shidduch crisis. The rosh yeshiva said: “This could be the biggest tragedy facing Klal Yisroel today.”
The panel also featured Lakewood shadchan R’ Shlomo Lewenstein, and Dr. Yossi Shafier.
Rabbi Lewenstein said that he knows families who have good daughters who wait for months just to get a date. He added that many 21-year-old girls who are not picky have never gone of a date. On the other hand, almost all boys date non-stop.
The virtual panel was moderated by Mr. Gershon Barnett, who is heavily involved in the shidduch crisis.
Barnett explained that the age gap is due to population growth, combined with the fact that boys start shidduchim at around age 22, while girls start at age 19; thus, there are hundreds of girls waiting for shidduchim.
Rav Wachtfogel said that we cannot say that Hashem “will solve the problem without us intervening.”
Rav Wachtfogel insisted that the solution was for boys to get married at least one year earlier than the current trend. He added that the boys should go to learn in Eretz Yisroel one year earlier than they do today, or that they should skip the year in Eretz Yisroel and learn there after they get married.
The rosh yeshiva said that there is no reason why boys should not be mature enough to get married, saying that Israeli boys get married earlier. “They are not born older than American boys,” said the rosh yeshiva. “They know that after they get married, they will mature faster.”
Barnett said that he also discussed the issue with Rav Aryeh Malkiel Kotler, rosh yeshiva of Beth Medrash Govoha in Lakewood, who urged him to discuss the issue with gedolim and ask if age 21 is too young for a shidduch. Barnett also said that “Rav Chaim Kanievsky pulled out a Rambam and said that it was definitely acceptable.”
Rav Wachtffogel noted that even girls who end up getting married suffer terribly for having had to wait so long – “they go through ten years of gehennom.”
Finally, the rosh yeshiva said that if other yeshivos agreed to “reorganize the process,” he would happily send the boys from his yeshiva to Eretz Yisroel one year earlier.